volver. return.

today i leave to return to south america for the first time in almost two years. i can honestly say it is too much for me to fathom at this point. i almost feel like i did when i first went there OVER two years ago, literally having no idea what to expect. i feel like have worked so hard to build a perfect space in my mind and heart for my experience in south america, that this doesn't seem to fit in. i don't know where it'll go.

tomorrow, i will arrive in lima, peru. where this took place:


peru is also where the picture at the top of this page took place. it's a rather unforgettable place. i will spend a few days in peru with one of my best friends, courtney. i haven't seen her in almost two years as well, since she's been living and working there. i can't wait to hug her, and laugh with her, and sing and dance with her, and see her life there.

and then, i will go back to lima and fly to santiago (hopefully). where this happened:


and this:


it's truly impossible to imagine what it will be like to be in the city where i lived for 7 months and where, undoubtedly, so much has changed. to be in the house, to walk down the street. i wish it were under slightly different circumstances. in fact, my host family, with home i will be staying, has still not been able to return to santiago from the south, where they were vacationing during the earthquake. i'm still waiting to hear updates. so, not only am i struggling to imagine what it will be like to be in the same place, but to be in the same place and not know if the metro will be working, or if certain buildings are still standing or are covered in debris. to not know if i can contact certain people because they may have much bigger issues on their hands right now than a visiting gringa.

i changed so much during my time there. and i have changed so much since. i almost feel like when i'm there, i might run in to myself two-years-ago, walking home from the university or from the community center where i took a dance class. and then i think about the beautiful campus of the university and start wondering how much damage it sustained...it will be a strange trip indeed.

but nonetheless, it is under beautiful circumstances as well. i will also be standing up in the wedding of two of my good friends and favorite people, sarah and felipe. they have been through quite a lot in the past week or two, and it will be such a beautiful moment to watch them become wife and husband.

i will update when possible, but i may be busy trying to find a new space in my heart and mind where this trip will go as it fades from future, to present, to past without so much as consulting me.

thanks for reading, thanks for thinking, thanks for challenging, thanks for loving.

peace to you.