days 18 and 19.

day 18.

an incredibly peaceful moment last night, listening to good music, drinking good wine, and surrounded by good people.

last night, i went to a venue that i haven't been to in a while, but used to go often during my freshman and sophomore years. my good friend katie was playing a show there, so a few of us went to listen. at one point, while katie was playing, i had this intense moment of nostalgia. i started thinking about when i met katie, over four years ago, and how we've both changed since then. then, i began thinking about who else was around the table, and how we've all changed in that time. i also started thinking about who wasn't around the table, friends that had moved and started new lives elsewhere. and so i began thinking about where we, those of us around the table, might be in 4 more years. it would be altogether possible that not only are we not all in the same city, but that we are not all in the same country. it was as if i was feeling nostalgia not just for the past, but for the future as well.

as the night went on, with the wet snow falling outside, another musician played after katie. he was very good also, and did a cover of the song 'blood bank' by bon iver. and the entire night seemed to come together, at least in reflecting the moment i just described, when he sang the line, "ain't that just like present? to be showin' up like this?" i've been thinking about time a lot lately, and that line really expressed how i was feeling at that moment.

it also made me think of the vonnegut quote written to the side --> that i've written about before here. actually, i think it was the way i began this blog, almost 2 years ago exactly.

day 19.

this song: christmas light by keegan dewitt and the sparrows

busted. day 17. and a few others.

so, i've officially been called out by three people now, which is what i told myself it would take before i would jump back on the wagon here. why do i always start things during finals week that i don't really want to finish? and why have i been busier in the past couple weeks than i was during the semester? life.

well, i'm going to start with today and then write a bunch of other beautiful things from the past couple weeks. i'm not going to number them because i don't want to be limited either way.

day 17: while i was working as a corporate gift-wrapper today in the suburbs (i know, i know), we were listening to a 24/7 christmas radio station (again, it's been a long day), and a song came on that immediately brought me back to 8th grade show choir, when i sang that song. it was such a fun moment of immediately jumping to that time in my life: short, blond hair, lots of sequins and blush, and the belief that this was a really, really important thing. oh, nostalgia.

other things:
--on one of my last days around loyola, i went up in the afternoon to this big ballroom in one of the buildings that is used for big events, where there is a piano. it's a huge room, with an amazing view, but closing my eyes and playing for a while gave me a short time to completely escape within myself.
--sufjan christmas music!!! especially the song 'sister winter.'
--i had a couple nights last week where i just turned up the radiator, poured a glass of wine, and read on the couch. it was beautiful and restful
--seeing old friends--i got to go visit my friend anna last week and it was lovely to feel so comfortable with her. i also spent time with a couple of the girls i studied abroad with last night, which was great as well.
--making new friends--i have met some really cool people in the last couple weeks, which has been really refreshing.
--i just finished the book "holidays on ice" by david sedaris. it has kept me laughing over the past few days of consumerism madness.
--i've watched a few great movies recently: 'no country for old men,' 'city of god,' 'mala educacion,' 'vicky cristina barcelona,' and 'food, inc.' i really enjoyed all of them for very distinct reasons.

okay, i feel like my brain is a mush of poinsettia-patterned paper, green and red ribbons, discussions of the intricate politics of one's daughter's cheerleading squad (i shit you not), all to the soundtrack of 'carol of the bells.'

i promise to try to me a little bit more faithful to this, most of the time.

peace.

day five.

emailing in my last final for the semester and spending the evening celebrating with amazing friends. few things make me happier.

day four.

this quote, from the book Dead Aid: Why Aid is Not Working and How There is a Better Way for Africa by Dambisa Moyo:

"Scarcely does one see Africa's (elected) officials or those African policymakers charged with the development portfolio offer an opinion on what should be done, or what might actually work to save the continent from its regression. This very important responsibility has, for all intents and purposes, and to the bewilderment and chargrin of many an African, been left to musicians who reside outside Africa. One disastrous consequence of this has been that honest, critical and serious dialogue and debate on the merits and demerits of aid have atrophied. As one critic of the aid model remarked, 'my voice can't compete with an electric guitar'.

day three.

a kid at the y, probably 10 or 11, with what i wouldn't call a kool-aid "moustache" so much as a kool-aid "clown's mouth." it was quite amazing. seriously, i wish i could have seen him drink that juice. it must have been a show.

day two.

a random song in portuguese playing at a cafe that (i think) was about life.

if you know me, you know that i really want to learn portuguese. (that might not be true. i don't really talk about it that often.) but, i do. and i also really like a lot of music in portuguese, often brazilian. (love ceu, check her out.)

the song wasn't overly beautiful, but the moment was. i was sitting in a cafe (okay, i admit, it was a starbucks) in downtown chicago, with a mess of books and papers scattered in front of me as i worked (more happily than i should admit) on the final paper for my education class, sporadically people watching out the window (or inside, where i caught a woman in the corner smoking a pipe as she sucked down her espresso), and this random song came on, in portuguese, that i could kind of understand. it was really lovely.

the chorus sounded something like "la vida no para." which, in spanish, means "life doesn't stop." but for a second, it did.

peace to you.

ps. why do i ALWAYS blog more during finals? without fail.

december musings. day one.

it's been quite some time since i've posted here, so i'm not sure if anyone is still checking. but, regardless, i'm going to start something for december.

for each of the 31 days of december, i'm going to write (probably briefly) about something that happened/that i saw that day that i found particularly beautiful, inspiring, or worthy of gratitude. i'm not sure where it'll take me, but i'm interested to find out.


day one.

the view from the pink line (train) just as it pulls out of the loop and opens up over the chicago river.

every time i'm facing the north and see this view, especially at night, i smile. i can't control it. there is something about that moment when the city seems to open up a bit, to seem less busy, less cold, less hurried. i've begun to look forward to it at the station before. and tonight, as i saw it, i felt really grateful to get to see it almost every day. and decided i should document it, inspiring me to do this experiment during december.

if you're so inclined, please feel free to do the same. i would love to know what is making you happy to be alive.

peace.