quince paginas

it's done.
the 15-page monster is done.
thanks to my friend felipe for his editing skills, i have officially printed and stopped thinking about this thing that i, literally, spent at least 50 hours working on. including putting on the song "i'd rather dance with you" by kings of convenience and doing a celebration dance in camilos room while it was printing.

then he and i had a good chat about how great it is to feel known by the family to the point that i can dance like a fool when i finish a paper and not feel weird.
then he told me that their new gringa (to live with them next semester) is also named kate and she comes a couple days before i leave. and...how there's just no way she will fit in with the family like me. anyways, i decided that for those couple of overlapping days, i'm going to have my stuff packed up and i'm going to sleep upstairs with the family in my sister's room so we can have some more tight bonding time before i leave. camilo thought it a great idea. and we an talk about the new girl and i can judge her. juuuust kidding. kind of. but anytime any of us start talking about me leaving, we all get sad and decide not to.

i had a conversation the other night with patricio, my host dad, about what its like to live in this state in which i know i'm leaving in a month and i don't know, realistically, when i'll be back. (although i will). it's like i notice everything. like i want to breathe deeper, see everything, remember every detail. and in reality, it's a beautiful way to live. it makes life so much more...alive. the other day it just felt surreal. like my life was a...baz luhrman movie. (moulin rouge---since frank doesn't read this.) a great conversation with my best friend, a smile from a cute boy on the street, a great cup of coffee, a breath-taking view of the andes, and suddenly, a person walking down the street with a huge sword. surreal.

also, a couple of the boys i work with just found out i'm not chilean. and a couple girls in my dance class found out i'm not venezuelan. (i know, right?)

i hope, if anything, i can learn from this. the joy that it is to understand how precious every moment is. the joy of recognizing an expansion of my heart to people and places i never expected. the joy of living amongst mountains! the joy of feeling like i may be able to call myself, gulp, fluent. and the joy of knowing that a random dance party is just as joyous in any continent or language.

besos,
kait