Vanakam! Hello!
yes, yes, i’m still alive and well. the only internet access i have on a normal basis is on the blackberry (which hasn't been working as of late), so i can usually read emails and get on facebook, but that’s about it. i finally made one of the staff take me to an internet café by the office, so now i should have a little more availability. i’ll probably still only be able to use it once or twice a week, though. so if you’ve emailed and i haven’t responded, know that i definitely read it and will respond when possible!
it’s hard to put into words how well things are going here. yes, it’s hot. yes, there are little lizards and big cockroaches all around, but other than that, i’m loving it. i love the young people i get to work with. the staff is great. the culture can be challenging at times (i don’t mind eating with my hands, but the feeling of having my food under my fingernails is just not okay. call me ethnocentric if you must.) (also, it’s impossible to feel what our culture would consider “ladylike” or “polite” when you’re literally up to your palm in rice and curry—both elbows on the table because it’s the only way to get good leverage.) (and do they really think that rinsing their hands with a splash of water over a bowl before eating really “cleans” them? no. i think they know it doesn’t, and they don’t care. which i kind of like.) like i said, it can be challenging, but i’ve got the rest of my life to eat with forks and spoons, right? at least i’m starting love spicy food!
other cultural/universal/life things i’ve noticed/experienced:
--they drink their tea very sweet and with milk, which i love.
--like chile, i start every morning with a cup or two of Nescafe (instant coffee). i’m almost ashamed to say that i’m starting to like it. i’ll blame it on the memories attached.
--i’m realizing the vast differences that are possible in a culture where there really isn’t much influence from the western world (comparatively, i guess, to latin America.) that is, India is their US. so some small things that i would never consider being different are different here. usually with body language. for example, as opposed to nodding or shaking their head, people here move their heads side to side, as if they’re going to put their ear on their shoulder, although they don’t go that far. does that make sense? not front to back, like nodding, or swiveling, like shaking a head ‘no’, but side to side. and it usually means ‘ok’. but it looks so close to head shaking, that i often have to remind myself that they’re agreeing with me, or saying “yes”, and not “no.” another thing is movement of waving someone to come to you. that is, if we wanted someone to come over to us from across the room, we would turn our palm up and bring our fingers towards us. (commence the action now, for a visual.) but here, they (not always, of course, but some) face their palm down and fan their fingers, which just looks like a little wave to me. so, when i was in Colombo, trying to get my visa, the one guy in the process that seemed to actually like foreigners (quite a lot actually, especially the white females) was trying to wave me over and i just thought he was waving. so, hoping it would help my quest, i just smiled, batted my eyelashes, and waved back. he looked confused and waved a bit more emphatically and said, “America!” and i realized he was calling me over. ha. i went. he helped. more below.
--it’s kind of fun to start over in learning a new language. it’s challenging, but fun. i haven’t really tried on a new one since 7th grade, so it’s fun to remember the first steps. although, as i begin to actually try to talk a little bit in tamil, i find myself getting frustrated and not wanting to switch to English, but Spanish. like, my brain is already in ‘not english’ mode, so my default is Spanish. it’s kind of nice. i brought a really tough/great Spanish novel to read, but no dictionary. so, i read it out loud to practice, but don’t always know what’s going on (it’s magical realism, so the language is really tough and i’m not sure i would understand what was going on if it were in English…) here’s some tamil for you:
kali vanakam. epadi suhom? nan nalem. enedu payer Kaitlin. enedu vayadu iruvatimoonru. enedu nadu America. eneku amma, appa, moonru anenmahl, moonru anni, ehlu anenmagen, onru enenmagel.
((good morning. how’s it going? i’m doing well. my name is Kaitlin. i am 23 years old. i am from America. i have a mother, father, three older brothers, three older sisters in law, seven nephews and one niece.))
i’m also working on writing and reading it in the actual script. i can pretty much read it now, although i don’t know what i’m reading because my vocab is so small. but it helps with pronunciation to be able to read the words in the actual script. (no, mom, i don’t know the word for “quilter” yet. i suggest you google it.)
--some days, when i’m hanging out with the kids after lunch, they watch these hideous indian movies where the hero is always a guy that looks like ron Jeremy. as in, ALWAYS. he’s probably 40, kind of overweight, and with a big bushy dark mustache. i guess it’s what their president looks like too, so maybe it makes a little more sense. what’s more annoying in these movies is that any female in the movie is ALWAYS whimpering and crying. always. i have yet to see one do anything but cry and wait to be saved. no exaggeration. is it too much to ask for some mr. and mrs. smith-type action every once in a while? i wonder what an Indian version of michel gondry would be like…
--i also noticed that often during movies, the screen is blocked out due to gov’t regulations on tobacco and alcohol. any scene where someone is smoking or drinking is blocked out. can you imagine?
--the people are so beautiful here. seriously. and i’ve had to realize that just as i want to just sit and stare at them, they’re thinking the same about me. i’m so different, that they just want to stare and take everything in. and they do. unabashedly.
--there’s a reason why girls don’t pee standing up. enough said.
--this sign was in a bakery/tea shop: “we eliminate the business of cigarette. for you and your off springs.” if i had off springs, they would be very appreciative, i’m sure.
--bakeries!!! i’ve realized, having traveled a bit more, that bakeries are totally the thing here. very common and very good. sweet breads and spicy fried things abound.
--when i traveled to a more northern town for a few days with some of the staff, i felt very much like i was in ‘entourage: sri lankan Jesuit version’. there was the old Jesuit, to whom everyone catered, the driver, the manager, and the ‘heavy lifting’ guy. who was i? the groupie, i guess.
--the place we went, we stayed in a Jesuit residence and it was CRAZY how much the Jesuit scholastics reminded me of those i knew in Chicago. young, really intelligent, really witty, and very sweet. i only knew a few scholastics in Chicago, but they were SO much like these guys it was crazy. it was also nice because they all spoke really good English. and they talked about the world cup. they also watched it at night, but never invited me (probably because it was in their bedrooms). Jesuits are SUCH teases. some of you know what i’m talking about…
--like i mentioned, i went to Colombo a couple days ago to get my visa extended. it was crazy—although, interestingly enough, it had AC. i think they were deliberately trying to confuse me, send me in the wrong direction. after getting the application form, i found out that although you have to have a credit card, you can’t actually PAY with a credit card, so i had to go down to the atm, which only gives out up to $50 at a time, and all in ones. i needed at least $125 for the fee. needless to say, my money belt (which i was wearing to ensure that i looked very touristy and not at all NGO-y, was kind of bulging after the atm. probably not a great thing.) then, back up to the 4th floor, which they called the 3rd floor, to get my picture taken, and then be pointed in various wrong directions until i could find where i was actually supposed to go for each seemingly unnecessary step. luckily, there was one guy who was quite wonderful—clearly one of those people that loves foreigners, especially Americans. he kept referring to me as “america! America!” i’ll admit, i put my judgment aside and used it to my advantage. and luckily, he was the 2nd to last step in the process, so he kept trying to move along the other steps quicker to help me. it was pretty great. in the end, it only ended up taking an hour an a half to get the stamp, which is actually much less than chile, so that was surprising.
--while in the immigration office, there was a group of british students there, also trying to get visas or something. one girl was in a ridiculously low cut shirt, and i realized how accustomed i’ve grown to the more conservative dress here. granted, this amount of cleavage would have been uncomfortable in an office in the US too, but it was still really weird to see. i found myself cringing a bit, wanting to be sure everyone knew i was not with them.
--i think one of the reasons i most like hanging out with the kids i work with is that i can be totally silly with them, which is such a part of “me”. the male staff member at the center is also great. he’s a pretty young guy, and speaks really good English, so we goof around a lot. it’s good to have someone to feel funny with.
--i’ve only had 2 dance parties so far (that involved other people)—not nearly enough. but it was these two times that i think the kids really started to like me and feel comfortable with me, even if we often can’t really communicate. of course, the dancing is what brings us together…
--the books i’ve been reading (i’ve finished every one i brought at least once) have been surprisingly relevant. the first was david foster wallace’s ‘consider the lobster’—challenging, but really interesting insights on a lot of topics, especially language and meaning. next was ‘everything is illuminated’ by jonathan safran foer, which i read twice in a row—about an American in another country, about war, about atrocities and the way life ‘moves on,’ or doesn’t, afterwards. lastly was ‘you will know our velocity’ by dave eggars—about two Americans traveling, to “exotic” locations. they’re trying to give away money—interacting with the world—documenting the world around them.
--as i mentioned before, people are often not bashful about staring at me. at one place, the women all just sat down on a bench about 2 feet in front of me and stared at me. i know some of it is the fact that we can’t communicate with words, but it was pretty uncomfortable. then, as they sat there in their beautiful, colorful saris and wraps, they struggled to tell me that my plain blue button-up shirt from target was “very beautiful!”
--the reactions to my being from America have been really interesting as well—i’ve gotten “wow” or “my dream country!”—i’ve found that i want to react negatively, yell, “no! there is so much wrong there! so much materialism, consumerism, oppression, exploitation! we just make it look good! you only see movies and sit-coms! it’s not really like that!” but then, i think, ‘well, for me it kind of is. that country has been great to me. it’s offered me unthinkable freedoms, opportunities, and comforts. but if you were to go, 25-year-old, dark-skinned Kishan from SL, it would be much tougher. you would have to work 10x harder than me and would still probably never attain the same levels of comfort i have. no more 10-4 work days. no 2-hour lunch breaks. no morning and afternoon tea breaks. very little contact with your family in SL. and constant suspicion as to whether you are fully appreciative of the once-in-a-lifetime chance you were so graciously given to be in your ‘dream country’.” funny, isn’t it. i’m the one with nothing to complain about, yet want to so quickly and badly. and those who can and maybe should, don’t. or maybe can’t, as they’re busy working their 2-3 jobs. ( couldn’t have a blog post without at least a little jaded cynicism, right?)
--like i mentioned on facebook at one point, we passed elephants, lizards, monkeys, and cows on the highways, for which we annoyingly slowed down, but when we passed some good ol’ deer in town, we stopped the car, shouted, and stared in amazement. i laughed out loud.
--this was my 3rd July 4th out of the country in a row now. i wouldn’t have minded the fireworks in pilsen this year, but i’ve got all my life for fireworks, right?
--work does not start here until 10 am. when i’m in the office and i just try to start talking to the report writer before 10 am, she always interrupts me and says, ‘please, we wait until 10 am? half hour more?” i oblige.
it’s hard not to comment on the current political happenings, but i will try to refrain. read various news sources. use common sense to realize how ridiculous it is. it’s like a mother asking a child if his room is clean, and he says yes. when she says she wants to see the room, he goes on a HUNGER STRIKE and compares himself to ghandi to say how unfair it is. in this case, i think it’s not even that the child is afraid the mother will find out that he’s simply crammed everything from his room into the closet. i think he knows she’ll see that it’s not clean at all. it’s a complete mess and will probably continue to get worse. if you have specific comments/questions, feel free to email me.
ok, that is all for now! that should last for a while, no?
please take care, keep sending me updates and being patient when i don’t respond for a while.
love and peace and really great dance moves to you all,
kait
ps-since internet is increasingly precarious, please email me at both kaitlinrae@gmail.com and kklipsch@heartlandalliance.org, as i can usually only check one or the other...
